Our Baby Manifesto

A short description of how we want to raise our baby

Content maintained by abe238

If you are reading this, is because we love you, we trust you and you are part of our circle. And it is because we love you that we rather set the ground rules before misunderstandings ruin our relationship. This is why we urge you to read this fully.

Rule 0: “Our baby, our rules”.

1. Before the baby comes:

  1. We understand there is an outpour of love. People asking for baby registries, baby showers and more. We appreciate your demonstrations of love but at this point we have purchased all (and probably more than what) we need; thank you. If you still want to do something, write us a letter, tell us what this baby means to you.

2. While the baby is joining us:

  1. Whatever happens, mom and the baby are the most important part of the journey – during the labor process, what mom might say/express is affected by the pain/trauma of giving birth. I will find ways to be there for her/support her as she makes the adjustment. This moment will be reserved to dad, mom, baby and medical staff.
  2. Trust me I will not assume the medical staff knows it all. I will challenge their feedback and ensure the best care and medical approach is followed for mom and baby.
  3. We ask you to be patient. Dad will communicate out the safety and comfort of mom and baby as soon as we are out of the woods but will be focusing on mom more than on the cellphone.
  4. We want to be the first ones to share the moment with the world. After we do so, go nuts!

3. Right after the baby joins us:

  1. We have waited a long time for this day. Please let us have this moment in private.
  2. Even though we know you mean well and it is coming from the kindest of places; we are learning and have our very own and special way of doing things that may differ from yours.
  3. We know you all want to SEE the baby, but just like we waited a long time you will need to wait a bit too. This moment is not only uncomfortable physically, emotionally and mentally but also one of great stress juggling simple chores. Having to entertain visitors is not the best use of our energy, that energy we will reserve for mommy and baby.

4. A while after the baby joins us:

  1. While we probably still won’t be entertaining visitors, if you will likely be near us or the baby in the future we ask you to get a TDAP vaccine booster. Why? because in our climate the third cause of infant death is whooping cough. If you choose not to or can’t get the vaccine, that’s ok too. Our baby boy will be waiting for his cuddles after his 6 weeks vaccinations. (CDC recommendations)
  2. We believe in science and the concept of Herd Immunity and are therefore PRO Vaccines. We would appreciate not getting push back on this. Our baby will be vaccinated, No arguments on this will be entertained.

4. Months downs the line:

  1. If you are sick or feel sickness coming around, please stay home.
  2. We will continue our learning and will continue to make our own mistakes. We are ok with this, let us enjoy the ride.

5. Years downs the line:

  1. We will foster independence over coddling.
  2. We will use positive reinforcement over negative punishment.
  3. We will encourage effort over innate ability.
  4. We believe that in order to raise a self-reliant kid with high self-esteem, it’s more effective to be authoritative than authoritarian.
  5. We try to foster our kid to listen, respect and trust us rather than fear us.
  6. As a multicultural family we have a lot of rituals to choose from. Mom and dad will choose the ones we will follow given the importance and significance they have to us.
  7. We believe children learn values by watching how parents live not just what they say.